Hop-Job-Scotch
Today I woke up unwillingly when I received a msg from my leader, saying that he's expecting me at the office in Chinatown at 7.45am. I looked at the clock. 7.15am and I was still lying on my bed in a remote part of Jurong West. The fact is, part of my mind already decided that I'm going to leave that job. Yet, another part of me tells me that I should hang on. Well, actually I did feel obliged to stay on cos of my wonderful team colleagues and my leader who's put in so much effort training me, motivating me.
Went to attend a seminar today organised by the vice-president of our company. Some Caucasian. Good talk. Good speech. I felt half motivated. Looking at the audience of about 150 seated at this hall of Swissotel at Merchant Court, I was thinking if I really do belong to this crowd. My mind is drifting away, out of the hall.
As expected, I started work today at a zombi-fied state. No mood for pitching or talking to people. Didn't bother to force myself to try. Cos my mind was half asleep. My decision was half made. And guess what, my colleagues could see through me!!! Wow. They have this magical power that they seem like psychics! They asked if I was feeling stressed. I didn't put a mood cloud over my head that spells that I was feeling stressed at that time. But I guess you can tell much from my blank and dull expression. I wonder if the crowd did notice. I guess not. They are oblivious people who say "No time", "In a rush" like as if they memorised these words everyday. If not, they would just swat you away like a fly. And guess what? My company's teaching... We are told to LOVE rejections. Oh well, in the end, I was advised to go home to take a "rest" by my leader. Now I couldn't REJECT that offer.
Haha. I think I really tickled myself. Few posts earlier, I was saying how I loved the job. How many wonderful things I have learnt so far. And now I'm being contradicting. Hahaha. That's reality for you. Things happen. Thinkings change.
I'm thinking if I should send in a resignation letter soon. It should go something like this. "Dear manager, I have been in this job for 2 weeks. It's a regret I need to quit. But I can't help it. I need to breathe".
I haven't bought any stamps yet though.
Maybe soon?
1 comment:
I think u are more or less on yr way to leaving. Well whatever it is, good that you had an exposure. :)
Post a Comment