This past week in camp has been a traumatic one for me. Psychologically. I don't know why, I think I hardly spoke to anyone. I just felt depressed and low. Was it because after the long break that I find it hard to adapt back to military life? Or was it because of the troubled face of Aaron before he left for Brunei that made me feel that way? I don't know honestly. I just feel detached from reality.
I have to confess something. I'm very passive in nature. I take time to warm up. I seldom take initiatives. I am a born introvert.
I'm trying hard to change. But does all that explain why I feel so lonely sometimes? Why my social life seems to be narrowing? Why I am still single till now? Hahaha whatever. Heck.
Of course, a change will be good. But first, I need to cheer myself up more.
So anyway, yesterday we were supposed to have this camp gathering at DXO. It was such a stupid idea can. Imagine the whole place was flooded with NS guys. No girls. And we had to sit there and listen to all the crap and be involved in witnessing the games in place. Which was totally lame. Total waste of time. Ha, but after that decided to stay back with a few of my camp mates. It was Ladies' Night! Had a tower of Tiger Beer. I think I drank like 3 or 4 mugs. Hahaha. I tried to dance at the dance floor but most of the time I was dancing alone and probably just shaking on the spot. Totally ridiculous. Wasn't in the mood to dance actually. But I stayed on till 2 plus. Absolutely ridiculous. Yea, and I can't believe my friend actually went up to a girl and just danced along with her, or rather swaying behind her while clasping her in his arms. That was some daring move I probably won't do. I was just shocked how "open" these girls can be.
I'm not frivolous. I'm not flirtatious. That's for sure.
On another note, my student EZ link card has expired. I have enjoyed student fare rates for 2 more years compared to my other friends(and probably saved quite a bit). But the sudden change to adult fare is ridiculous. A MRT ride from Boon Lay to City Hall costs $1.50?! It used to cost only like $0.50 for me. Totally horrendous. So now I'll rather drive when I go out. I know petrol is expensive too. But at least I don't get to see the amount deducted right before my eyes.
And I love driving. Especially to random places. Exploring new landscapes. New routes. New territories. New horizons.
Ok. I think I sound quite like a turn-off now. Whatever. Bleh.
1 comment:
I think the DXO thing was pretty lame too. At least u have more clubbing experience now. Its hard for ppl to know what u are going thru unless they are by yr side or actually in yr own shoes. I seriously hope to be able to help u somehow but I know no better way than just listening. Gosh I feel useless again...
Nonetheless this melancholy shall not be permanent. I have confidence that u can brace up and at least be back to the army CS that u were before the break. Do talk more to ppl. Maybe u can go out of yr room and try talking to ppl fr other bunks, with the same wavelength of cos. that was wat I did la. Repression of speech is the worst torture to me in army and I do not want to see u going thru it as well. All the best!
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