An Echo in the Emptiness.
A lag of updates I know. Though not very long, but there's still a gap. Daniel commented that "it's rare that I haven't been updating my blog for 5 days straight" since I pretty much give him the impression that my blog is updated daily. The fact is, don't count on impressions. I'm not out to impress anybody.
As a matter of fact, I find myself making less of going online a routine. I guess when you have the luxury of the computer and the internet, you just get lost in all this cyberworld twirl. I did not purposely avoid the need to go online since going online has ever since dwindled to the habit of signing on msn to see if there are any lone souls to chat with. The fact is, I don't really chat with anyone even if I'm online. It's more like just spacing out in cyberspace.
On another note, work is great. Although there are many times for slacking, sometimes you really get tired from having nothing much to do. But I enjoy the company of the acquaintances I made - temp staff as well, people around my age group which I could talk and mingle with. Honestly speaking, this current job isn't giving me credible experience for future use since it's more of admin stuff. But I'm not really complaining. As much as I would like to learn new stuff, I enjoy the company of my new colleagues. Having said that, I still need to venture out more and look for new job opportunities.
Have I really no time for myself? I would say probably. But sometimes, it's not about thinking for myself anymore. I have been thinking for myself for the past 21 years or so. It's just not fair to keep going on like this. As much as I would like to do every possible thing that follows my passion, I know it's not possible. There are just so many duties to fulfil, responsibilities to uphold. Even not for now, it's for the future. I already suffered several setbacks before, going through tormentous experiences that probably created a hole in my idea of happiness. But to come and think of it, how would you know what happiness truly is without going through all those bad times?
All of a sudden, it dawned upon me how I should use my time wisely.
I just want a real big smile on my face some day. And if you see me doing that, I'm on my way. =)
1 comment:
Interesting that you would relate blogging to a form of impressing. I do not think that people think of it that way so that's a new perspective.
There will always be something to learn at work, it just depends on whether you have learnt enough.
Ya u can think of happiness as a sort of contrast to non-happiness. Something that cannot be fully appreciated until you have seen the other side.
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