Guy in distress
It dawned upon me that I have pretty much "squandered" away the year following ORD. I don't think I have done many constructive things. Except for a temp job, my job search then slowed to a crawl. Passion wise, haven't really been honing my skills at the piano, or done more research on writing, etc.
And now when things seemed to be picking up a little, I had to meet with that freak accident that seriously caused a great deal of inconvenience. I can't even hold and flip a book now. And I still have probably a dozen of unread book on my shelves.
To think back, while I was still well and normal, I have been giving in to procrastination, as well as the ever-tormenting train of paranoid thoughts that seem to creep in every now and then, impeding on my natural behaviour and actions that followed.
What I did was to watch in envy on how people I know shower their facebook profiles or blogs with "success" pictures, new car, new jobs, new songs, new happenings, etc.
As much as I hate to admit it, I envy those studying full-time in uni. At least they seem pretty eventful with the line of never-ceasing hall activities and whatever.
While I have definitely passed the stage of wallowing in self-pity, and probably the self-consoling message that I did not choose a wrong path, I began to realise that I did not make full use of this path as yet.
It's probably time to take away the facade that I am a cheerful guy, because under this mask, I know that I am not a happy or contented person...
Current mood: ________
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