Review and Renew
It's already few days since we first crossed over the new year 2008. Looking back, 2007 did pass by in a whizz. I still remember taking the pics with my siblings and cousins at my grandma's place on CNY '07. And now I'm getting ready for another round of new "photoshoots" again. It almost seemed like yesterday. But the fact remains, 525,600 minutes passed.
I regret to say that I did not really adhere to my resolution for 2007, which was to invoke the "child" in me, in the sense that to start on my journey for knowledge, for depth, without any fear. Like how we used to be as a child, fearless, adventurous. Sad to say, I didn't really do much. Nearing the half of the year had been a turbulent period for me as I had to struggle to fight the inner "demons" that were out to obstruct my path. Of course, things in army still appeared to be well and fine. I aced my IPPT and SOC, achieving two times gold and cleared in one try respectively, my superiors still thought highly of me, and I was all the way labelled as a "good soldier".
Did I tell you something? I hate labellings. It's like people thought of you as someone high up there from the start. So high that you felt like there's no more room to improve. So there's always this constant pressure to perform, to excel, so you can safely and comfortably remain at the same high level. This is tedious. I hated that. Sometimes, a part of me wished I had not been such a "nerd" during school time, and that I would at least have got into some fights, smoked cigars or whatever. I know this sounds crazy. But what I want others to realise is, don't judge me by first impression. As far as I know, I can be your average-next-door-smiling-guy, I can be your heavily-tattooed-hangout-mate(though too much of an exaggeration), I can be anything. In short, don't label me. I don't like to be fixed.
Well, anyway, I have to admit that I'm a rather complex character. Not that I chose to be, but maybe that's just the way some people are. I believe in flexibility. That's how it should work in reality, right? I don't know if this is some kind of trait or what. Maybe it's me being too much of an introvert in my younger days that I yearn for a break through. Maybe? But at least, I get to handle both sides of the coin, though not easy. It's hard to wear a smiling mask wherever you go.
It's alright. Forget regret. Time is too precious to dwindle away and blaming yourself on things you should have done or should not have done. The key is to look ahead of you. So, that brings us to my next topic, which is the resolution for 2008. Almost everyone close I've known have come up with their own resolutions. Not that I have not thought of any, it's just that I have not written them down. So here are them. Realise it's not just one sentence anymore, as of before. No way. This time round I'm not going to be that vague. And I realise one resolution is too little. So there are more to accomplish this time round. All are of equal importance.
1) I want to do what a real man(in modern terms) can do. At least I'm going to learn.
*Earn my own keep.
*Get a job.
*Pay my own bills.
*Fix my own stuff.(That includes car, appliances, gadgets, etc.)
*Be updated with current trends.
*Be resourceful.
2) Build myself physically and mentally.
This means more gym and running. And keeping myself sane by my own means.
3) I'm going to start saving!
This is gonna be pretty tough for me since I'm not much of a money-saver as my wants have obviously outweighed my needs all along. But for the sake of my future, I'm going to start.
4) Continue to pursue my dreams.
Dreams are the reason we live our days. That, I strongly believe. Hence, I'm going to catch every opportunity possible. My passion for music will never cease.
5) Be a more sensitive boyfriend.
I'm doing this one specially for my love. :)
Well, so that's all for now. Perhaps they seem too much to handle. But I believe that tough times don't last, tough men do. Ha.
Nothing is impossible. Fear not the impossible. Hear the possible.
1 comment:
U actually counted the minutes!! :P
Its not easy to invoke the inner child and is definitely not something tt u can accomplish within a yr. If u wish, remain with this resolution a while more and work towards it.
Ppl usually hate labeling if they are labelled the negative way. In this case, its not that bad for u. And there will ALWAYS be something for u to improve and work on eg. a better timing or sth. There will be. So being on the pedestal after being "labelled" is not that bad, especially since it is good. The only bad that I can think of which is significant will be having to meet up to expectations, as u have mentioned. Ya labelling also fixates other's perceptions of us. If that is the case, then it is up to us to re-mould the perceptions. Labels, or rather in that case, (first) impressions, are bound to have. It just depends on how we upkeep or change them.
I SO agree with u on flexibility. It is tiring and all that yes, been there done that myself. But I would much rather being flexible (dynamic) than constant. So u are still cool no worries. Sometimes we just need to stop wearing the mask, of cos the timing and company must be right, lest the ppl cant take it and freak out or watever.
One-sentenced resolutions are common and ok, but it just depends on how specific and dense the word is. Has always been the case for languages. Length never really did matter, in comparison to the words used.
Yr last line is resolute enough to encompass the rest. Haha
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